There are a few mainly technical issues regarding the poetry essays. One regards the integration of evidence in the body paragraphs, the other involves verb usage.
Using Evidence / Integrating Quotes
First, everyone at this point should be avoiding the “dropped” quote that floats in the paragraph by itself without being integrated into your prose. For example, from “Barter”:
Teasdale repeats two lines in the poem. “Life has loveliness to sell” (lines 1 & 7). This repetition highlights their significance.
Instead, integrate the evidence smoothly into the sentence structure, looking something more like this.
Teasdale repeats only two lines, “Life has loveliness to sell,” highlighting their significance in the poem (lines 1 & 7).
This improved example provides “handles” on either side of the evidence, making the quote flow naturally into the sentence. There need not be handles on either side of the quote. A phrase before or after or both all work equally, depending on how you want to use the quote. Everyone should be at the point where they are making decisions about how to do this best, but they should be doing it.
Second, poems provide some small adjustments in terms of how they are presented as quotations. If you are going to use four or more lines, you need to block quote the lines, making them look exactly as they do in the published poem. For example:
The final image is the most revealing of Dickinson’s tone toward the natural world, focusing on her attentiveness to detail and rich use of metaphoric imagery.
I offered him a Crumb
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home—
Than Oars divide the Ocean,
Too silver for a seam— (lines 14-18)
Here the speaker interrupts the scene and causes the bird to take flight. Yet, Dickinson employs a nautical image for the bird’s ascent. The bird’s wings cut through the vast blueness of sky, ultimately disappearing from view, as the sun’s reflection off the bird’s velvety feathers help camouflage its flight from the speaker.
The alternative to the block quote, when using three lines or less is to integrate it normally but use a slash to demarcate the individual lines. So trimming the same example could look something like this.
The final image is the most revealing of Dickinson’s tone toward the natural world, focusing on her rich use of metaphoric imagery. The speaker interrupts the scene and causing the bird to take flight. Yet, Dickinson employs a nautical image for the bird’s ascent, “Than Oars divide the Ocean, / Too silver for a seam—” (lines 17-18). Continuing the rowing metaphor, the bird’s wings cut through the vast blueness of sky, ultimately disappearing from view, as the sun’s reflection off the bird’s velvety feathers help camouflage its flight from the speaker.
Also notice the citation and punctuation changes. In the block quote, the punctuation is precisely as it appears in the poem and the citation appears after any punctuation in the quote. When integrated in line within the paragraph, a slash designates the line break in the quote and the final punctuation mark for the sentence appears outside or to the right of the citation, not inside the quotation marks of the quoted material, ensuring that the citation belongs tot he correct sentence.
Additionally, related to the integration of quotes, everyone also should be beyond the point that “This quote…” needs to be employed after introducing evidence. Simply begin stating your analysis. Using that construction is simplistic and unnecessary at this point. Everyone is capable of better.
Also, simplistic is the phrasing construction, “This…because…” when constructing your commentary and analysis. That phrasing might be effective but it too is simplistic, as well as being terribly formulaic. Challenge yourself to explain your analysis with more elegance. Again, everyone is capable of better.
Verb Choice and Usage
The two most common areas that beg improvement are simply choosing better verbs to communicate your thoughts and then using them with better precision and concision.
Diction, or word choice, is a key factor in all writing, particularly when it comes to the selection of verbs. Verbs carry a sentence. You want to choose vivid, active verbs to communicate your ideas with meaning. A verb like “portrays” is overused and generally not used very well by most of you. More than that, it really ends up being kind of empty and void of meaning in the essay. Instead look for more interesting alternatives. This is when a thesaurus comes in handy. You need not “thesaurize” the whole paper, but using the tool to find better verbs or simply better options than “portrays” would be an improvement.
The precise use of verbs or verb phrases also remains an issue. In most instances, this is an clunky oddity in the phrasing. Far too many essays are riddled with phrases like, “is given” or “is shown” or some other variation of a present, helping “to be” verb followed by past tense active main verb. This construction is completely unnecessary and awkward, when simply “gives” or “shows” would not only be more concise but clearer.
Just going back and paying particular attention to your verb choices is probably the simplest way to improve an essay. It is an extremely quick way to begin your revision process. Of course, there may be larger problems with any essay, but beginning to notice verb choices is a small way to earn significant benefits, especially in terms of grades.
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